I came a crossed this video on my Facebook feed this morning and it really made me think.. As a Child growing up I did not have the childhood experiences that most have.. but it is something I never talk about.. It has always amazed me when I hear people blaming their past for their present.. it actually quietly infuriates me.. Why, Because at a very young age I realized with what I credit God for, showing me that “I can be the change I want to see in my life..” I can break the cycle, the circle, what ever the Buzz word in Psychology today is.. I was about 11 years old.. From the moment I had that message delivered to me in a spiritual way as I sit in the corner of my bedroom crying in fear I knew “I had to be the Change” The message that came to me in a bright light was just what Aurora said in this video..”Take the negatives and make them positive” “You don’t have to have this life”
As I look back and think of how things have evolved it takes a lot to just really think about what could have been..Those memories are buried deep within and I just don’t like to think about it.. but when I think of the other possible outcome and I have a vivid picture of what could have been and I will explain that later.. It is a sad reminder that all though over the past few years things changed directions on me, Economy driven mostly.. I sit here almost angry that I am not where I wanted to be.. but I need to remember how far I have come.. and embrace that.. Even in this economic downturn there is a positive.. I am meeting new people whom I already adore.. I am learning new things and this path very well could take us to a whole new level that could never have happened without this change.. Take the Negatives and Make them Positives..
Now for the people out there that are wondering about, Was it really that bad.. Think of it this way.. I have one sister whom I was raised with.. She is 15 months older.. She had her first child at 15, Was in Prostitution by the age of 18. Dropped of school at 15, Drugs, 2 more kids that she never raised as the state took them from her..spent most of her adult life in jail and prison and now she is on permanent disability living on merely Govt. help.. Choices.. The only difference.. I chose a different path..And believe me when I say that for years I tried to pull her up with me..she just had no desire to be better.. As far as my mother whom no matter what ” she did the best she could “. She found the love of her life on marriage # 14.. You got to hand it to her for never giving up.. It was not what she did that caused so much damage to us girls.. It was what she allowed the men she was with to do to her girls that caused the damage..
All I can say to the people out there that might be struggling.. Fight through it and be the example of change.. Only you can make that difference.. thank you Aurora for making me remember.. and giving me the courage to at least tell part of my story.. As this is more than I have ever told.. You are my blessing today..